I don’t know if I should cry or cry
have you tried crying
crying is always a good option
Alone is the one thing I dont want, but I need it. It drives me to the edge, it makes hate all of my friends; any girl that spent her time on me. The hatred, could it be denial? Now I know I don’t need to use friends and girlfriends as distractions because I ALWAYS DO and I ALWAYS WILL. It’s not clear that this feels right, I almost want to say I’m afraid. I’m stubborn. I say all this, but I’ve craved so long for the touch and affection of a woman. 2 years. I’ve sat isolated, coveting the social indulgence my best friend and others have. I want to be loved and praised. I’m long past tired of the rejection and being made fun of for being different. The tempatation of a lover and the respect and acknowledgement of friends is hardwired into my brain. I keep wanting and I keep loosing. How long is this going to go on? I keep wondering if I actually will snap and do something very…..insane and brutal. I’m reminding myself that I’m a sane boy. I have to assure myself I won’t loose my mind and do these things I keep repeating in my head I know isn’t me. I need to stop trying to convince myself of the violent and murderous desires I keep thinking over and over and over and over again. I’m nothing like that, but I’m so angry. Why have I been so outcasted for so long, so many times again and again?
But how long can I last? And where did everybody go? I miss you all, do you even think of me?
I’ve proved my point. I’ve demonstrated there’s no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as c r a z y as everybody else… Only you won’t admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there’s some point to all this struggling! God you make me want to puke. I mean, what is it with you?
I keep feeling these words so deeply and there’s no one I mean it to. There’s no one who’s that close. Where did everyone go? God dammit, where IS everybody?!
Heaven: the original cloud storage.
Got this hotel to myself in a different city. All by myself, itd be really nice for some companionship from a female, where are the Dallas cuties at, eh?
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
so why stay alive